Depression and relationships: 6 ways to find a friend

The incidence of depression is increasing around the world. A significant proportion of patients do not even know about their diagnosis, trying to lead a normal life. Those who know, are often in voluntary isolation from society, unable to cope with the manifestations of their illness. But depression is not a reason to refuse personal life and new acquaintances. If you learn to control your illness, you can lead a full life without depriving yourself of any of its joys. Our site is divided into ways that allow you to prepare for a meeting with a new person and maintain a positive attitude for any outcome.

Depression as a mental disorder

Doctors understand the term “depression” as a mental disorder, and a significant part of the population is a mixture of chronic fatigue and bad mood. In the first case, depression is a serious psychiatric diagnosis that requires treatment from a psychiatrist, regular consultations with a psychotherapist, and medication. In the second, it is enough to talk with a psychotherapist, drink a course of vitamins and establish a daily regimen. The presence of the so-called “depressive triad” is characteristic of a mental disorder called “depression”: anhedonia – inability to feel joy, pathological decrease in mood; changes in thinking towards negativism, pessimism; significant decrease in motor activity. People suffering from depression, lose interest in life, they cease to attract both the daily familiar activities, and earlier favorite hobby, their self-esteem decreases to zero. Single people are sick more often than those who maintain extensive social contacts. Depression should not be taken lightly, 90% of cases of this pathology in case of refusal of treatment end in suicide. At the same time, the existing drugs today allow us to choose the treatment for cases of almost any degree of complexity and bring a person to a normal standard of living, returning him the joy of existence.

Depressive Russia

Not long ago, depression was in fifth place in the world ranking of mental disorders. Today, Russian experts predict that by 202 it will become the undisputed leader. In December last year, doctors from the NICC of Psychiatry and Narcology. V.P. Serbian released data on the incidence of depression among Russians. The most depressive is the Siberian Federal District, where 96.6 cases per 100 thousand people are registered. In second place is the Central District with 87.1 cases, and the third is the Southern Federal District with 73.1 cases per 100 thousand population. The people of the North Caucasus suffer from depression most of all – only 34.9 cases. It should be noted that in Russia, patients with depression are not immediately and do not always turn to doctors for help. Often, a person for a long time to no avail goes to receptions to a psychotherapist who is unable to cure such a pathology, or continues to lead a normal life, more and more plunging into his illness. In the US, the proportion of adults treating depression reaches 40%. These are incomparable figures with Russia. They can talk about both overdiagnosis in the United States and pronounced underdiagnosis in Russia. The latter assumption is confirmed by a significant increase in sales of antidepressants (by 25%) and sedatives (by 11%) in the autumn of last year. Doctors believe that increased levels of anxiety and aggression in society provoke an increase in the incidence of depression. As mentioned, single people are at increased risk for depression. But, even having received such a diagnosis, one can and should live a full life. And acquiring new friends, establishing close contacts is also a step forward in treating depression, allowing you to return to society. Man is a social being, do not underestimate this part of his life. And for this you should learn to manage yourself and your illness.

Method number 1. Depression Calendar The mental state of a depressed patient is not stable.

On some days he is better, while on others the disease covers him upside down and turns him off completely from ordinary life. Doctors recommend depressed patients to keep a diary and look for patterns of mood changes, the severity of symptoms of depression. And, of course, the moment of meeting new people should be considered in terms of their condition. If at the moment a person is at the peak of the struggle with suicidal thoughts, a sense of hopelessness, is experiencing a deep apathy, then you should not go to get acquainted. It is better to wait for a more stable state when the manifestations of the disease weaken.

Method number 2. Plan a comfortable pastime

Initially, you should plan a joint pastime at a comfortable angle for yourself. Immediately you need to choose exactly what suits and pleases the patient with depression: a walk in the park, dinner, a visit to the cinema. Any planned event should be fun, give reason for joy, lift your spirits. It is not necessary to include in the plan items that obviously can lead to a deterioration of the mental state, cause a negative reaction. If something from the points offered by a potential partner is annoying, scary, unnerving, or simply does not like it, it is better to immediately exclude this position from the plan.

Method number 3. The rehearsal of difficult situations.The fear that something can go “wrong”, is inherent in most people, even mentally healthy.

But patients with depression are more vulnerable to unexpected turns of fate. And this vulnerability should be taken into account in such a delicate situation as the upcoming acquaintance with a new person. Psychiatrists advise to seek help from familiar people who the patient has confidence in – this could be a close person or a friend from the social network. With it, you can play various potential situations and rehearse how best to behave in such a way as to protect your vulnerable psyche as much as possible. American psychiatrists at McGill University are now developing a platform for patients that will allow them to simulate different situations with the participation of peers or professional doctors. According to them, during the rehearsal, the patient has the opportunity to feel where his communication will “fall” into negative, and learn to get around the dangerous moments in a timely manner, while maintaining a positive attitude.

Method number 4. Creating a positive attitude in advance

Before you go to the exciting meeting, you should create yourself a positive attitude. For an ordinary healthy person to create a “holiday in the soul” is enough zilch favorite perfume, spectacular makeup or any other action, uplifting and giving confidence. For patients with depression, “recharge” should be more effective.   For example, you can go to the gym, chat on social networks with comfortable people, make a positive entry in your diary. As a result, it is important to recharge yourself with confidence, to feel the anticipation of the holiday.

Method number 5. Depression is a taboo subject for discussion.

When a person is depressed, his personality comes to the fore, he is turned inward, to some extent even fixated, focused on himself. Not surprisingly, often at the time of the first acquaintance, such a patient rather quickly moves in to discuss his beloved and his illness. Psychiatrists advise not to focus on depression, because society has not yet got rid of the stigmatization of mental disorders. In the eyes of most people, clinical depression does not look romantic, but rather repulsive. And dissuade them of this can only be in the course of direct communication. Doctors recommend, on the contrary, to focus on the interlocutor, to show interest in him, in his thoughts and feelings. Firstly, it will allow to get to know a person closer, secondly, he will not push him away right away, in the very first minutes of his acquaintance, thirdly, he will give an opportunity to see himself from a new side, to leave the sink, where the patient is driven by the disease.

Method number 6. Quiet attitude to failures

Refusal to continue dating may even upset a mentally healthy person. People with depression often perceive it as an accusation of their own inferiority. And therein lies their mistake. Doctors remind that any person can receive the refusal, regardless of their personal characteristics. In order to prevent a decrease in self-esteem and an increase in depressive states, dating should be regarded as an unhurried process consisting of many samples — not one but the other, the third, and so on.


Depression can be learned to manage. With the help of doctors, medicines, keeping a calendar and using your strengths and weaknesses, the disease can be fooled. But most importantly, in the course of dating with other people you should not rush to the final goal, you should enjoy the process. Instead of feeling “I want to be the best,” we must learn to feel better and get rid of the fear of doing or saying something wrong.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *