Parting with a loved one can be perceived as a halt in life and development, emotional death. Depression is a frequent companion of the one who has experienced loss and loss. Sad thoughts and loneliness, the inability to understand what to do next is knocked out of the rut of life, deprived of energy and filled with heartache. All of this is a normal reaction of the psyche in response to the fact that relationships that were meaningful and necessary have ended. At first, a person cannot understand how to live and where to go next. It was at this time that depressive thoughts may appear that life is over and existence does not make sense. Is it possible to stop the occurrence of depression on their own? When should you not risk your health and, better, seek help from a psychologist? The answers in this article.
Cleavage of the psyche: what needs to be controlled?
The absence of a loved one near causes severe mental pain. This feeling gives rise to thoughts that are sometimes difficult to cope with. What does a person think about him and his life when he “falls” into depression?
- “I will remain alone until the end of my life. Nobody will love me. ” It should be understood that parting is only one of the life stages. It is heavy, however, it can be experienced. To do this, you do not need to refuse the help of close people from outside – relatives, friends. It is also useful to give yourself time for suffering and feelings, without giving up, at the same time, from everyday affairs, work, and communication with others.
- “No one can be trusted. Around one deceivers and traitors. ” Such an attitude towards people is caused by severe pain after partner betrayal. To think so, at first, after the shock of parting – it is normal, however, turning these thoughts into a stable life position threatens with loneliness, the fear of approaching and becoming attached to other people. It is necessary to be able to separate the former partner from another experience of relationships, which can be obtained with other people, because they are all different, do not resemble each other and the betrayal of one person does not mean that new love will bring pain and suffering.
- “Opening and trusting is dangerous. Much better – if they love you. ” Such a decision can be made by people who are painfully burned, too dissolved in a loved one. Then, their decision not to love themselves, but only to allow others to do it, may look like an opportunity to protect oneself from pain. After all, if you do not fall in love, you will not have to suffer much if the separation happens again. The human psyche is thus protected, however, it has its drawbacks. For example, that a person who is allowed to love will feel used. Without receiving feedback, without feeling intimacy, he will become angry at his partner, be offended, jealous, trying to feel, thus, affection and love.
It is not necessary, right after the break, to “rush” headlong into a new relationship, if the old pain has not yet subsided. Do not force yourself to trust another, if there is no such desire. Reasonably and caringly towards oneself, one will wait until the mental wounds heal, the pain subsides and the desire to trust and love will appear by itself.
Thus, the ability to control the expression of your thoughts and feelings will help to avoid new mistakes and negative experiences. The human mind reacts to everything that he thinks and what decisions he makes. The greater the balance and slowness will be in them, the greater the chance of maintaining health after breaking up.
You do not become worse without love
Depression will become a frequent guest, if you constantly think that now that no one loves me, I am a loser (weak, unattractive, not interesting to anyone). Such thoughts will definitely make it impossible to burn off the love that has ended, and get a chance to build happy relationships in the future. One simple truth should be remembered: the presence or absence of close relationships in life does not affect the qualities of character, does not make a person worse. To think so is to be dependent on another. The ability to find a new partner and build close communication is based on a person’s ability to accept and love himself, feeling comfortable and calm, even when alone, alone with himself.
Wines in a relationship is divided equally
Depression cannot be avoided if you scold yourself for the collapse of the relationship. Even if a man realizes that his mistakes have caused a gap – everything that happens between a man and a woman depends on both of them. You can not shift the blame and responsibility on only one partner. When people build intimate communication, they tend to play psychological games. Thus, they trigger the processes of reactions and responses, which can lead to both the consolidation of relations and their rupture. Depression can be stopped by giving half the responsibility to another person in time for the union collapsing and the lovers are no longer together.
Psychological trauma needs to be treated
It so happens that depressive thoughts cannot be avoided, despite all efforts and control of feelings and thoughts. The more people meant to each other, the stronger the love between them was, the more difficult it might be to experience separation. In such cases, the help of a psychologist is necessary, because if a person cannot cope with his own emotions, depression will “knock” on him and he will remain in it for a long time.
Loss of sleep and appetite, rejection of activity and communication, attempts to end the scores of life, revenge – direct indicators to seek psychological help. If mental injury after parting is not treated, it can seriously ruin life – lead to loneliness, a new unsuccessful relationship, a complete loss of self-confidence.
What is depression afraid of?
While understanding that depressive thoughts are coming up, an ever less desire to live and rejoice is born, you need to pay attention to other areas of life, instead of constantly thinking about the gap and the absence of a loved one.
What does depression not like , and how can a person help himself to avoid meeting her?
- Changes in the outer and inner world. You can start by updating your wardrobe and hairstyle, buy beautiful things that you have been wanting for a long time, create such an image, through which, looking in the mirror, joyful thoughts will appear in your head.
- Depression is afraid of any creativity. The more often a person does something with his hands, creating, at the same time, beautiful, unusual things, the sooner he will express negative feelings that “flood” him after parting. This makes it possible to safely live through a difficult period, not to force oneself to “forget and stop loving”, but to express emotional pain through creativity. It is also a chance to recharge yourself with new positive energy and once again feel the desire to live and love.
- Depression does not like being talked about – communication with loved ones helps not to close within itself, to get rid of tension, to continue to trust people.
- Depressive thoughts will definitely not be valid if a person feels a great love for himself from his inner essence – this helps him not to be depressed and sad, not to think about the end of life, but instead, take care of how to start pleasing yourself , take care of yourself and take care.