After giving birth, mother and baby are in constant contact. And what does the new father feel at this time? What feelings seethe in his soul after the birth of an heir? Unfortunately, these are not always only positive emotions.
Depression in men: signs of the disease
On depression, the young father began to talk only in recent years. It turns out that depressive states are inherent in about 10% of men who have recently become dads. Why does this happen, MedAboutMe understood.
It is sometimes more difficult for men to endure depression because they often simply do not understand what is happening to them. The new father becomes sluggish and irritable, gets tired faster and tries his best to avoid homework. And if a woman tries to shame and call him to order, he either leaves a serious conversation, or shows violent negative emotions: “So, I do not do anything? Now I will definitely not do anything! See how you like it. “
A young father in a state of depression separates from the family, including the child, not wanting to communicate with him. However, he is not just not in contact with the newborn, fearing to harm the crumbs because of his own awkwardness, but consciously does not want to see him. It seems that the child is unloved by his own father and uninteresting to him.
The fact that a man depression also shows an increase in the amount of time spent by him outside the home. He explains his own absence very reluctantly, in most cases referring to increased workloads at work, or refuses to do so at all. And then again he uses any excuse to sneak out of the house.
Stress and other causes of depressive disorders in a young father
The newly minted daddy can “knock out” both the new status and the unwillingness to perform fatherly duties (although this does not mean that the man didn’t want this child) and the problems that accompany this joyful event. Sharply increased material needs of the family, combined with a lack of knowledge and experience in dealing with young children, are fertile ground for the development of depressive disorders.
The next factor of development diseases There are certain discrepancies between expectations and reality. Very often, the future father draws in his imagination a charming calm toddler, but in reality the child is not exactly like that – he cries, requires food, constant attention and care.Therefore, it is not surprising that a man becomes depressed. Claims and demands of the spouses are also fertile ground for stress. The trigger can be fatigue and overwork, new responsibilities, greater responsibility and a lack of funds to meet the increased needs of the family.
Depression is even more aggravated if the wife is constantly busy with a small child, and practically does not pay attention to the man.
Very often, a man experiencing a complex range of feelings in connection with the advent of the heir is not able to express them. He does not complain, but, on the contrary, tries to look in the eyes of loved ones as prescribed by social stereotypes, according to which a man should not be weak and hesitant. He must be strong, confident and reliable.
The child was born: how to cope with emotions?
How to cope with postpartum depression? First of all – no self-medication and taking antidepressants on the advice of “knowledgeable” friends. Only a specialist (psychiatrist or psychotherapist) can prescribe medication. What helped one person may well turn out to be not only useless for the other, but also harmful. In addition, the drug and its dose are selected individually.
And do not blame yourself for the fact that negative emotions prevail. The appearance of symptoms of depressive disorder does not mean that this man is a bad father. Therefore, the feeling of guilt is better to drive away away. But you should not write off your own inaction and the lack of positive emotions for depression either. So a man can justify himself for a very long time, assuring that depression is to blame for everything, and do nothing to change the situation for the better.
To improve their mental state, young parents should not only engage the child, but also pay attention to themselves and to each other. The best helpers in the fight against the blues – sincerity, friendly support and understanding. In addition, the young dad will be useful to take a break to restore mental strength. For example, a man can spend a couple of evenings a month the way he wants (of course, within reason).
Well, if you can not cope with depression on your own, it makes sense to consult a specialist. Currently, there are many ways to treat depression – from a variety of psychotherapeutic techniques to conducting drug therapy.
Can help a man out of depression and people close to him. Therefore, a few tips for them. If one of the relatives has been overwhelmed with depression, this state should not be ignored, it is better to support the person. You don’t need to say something like: “You’ve been inventing everything, you don’t have any depression,” “It’s much harder for others, but they don’t even give way to it”, “Stop souring and take hold of yourself”. Such “support” not only does not help, but can aggravate the situation even more, because the person will feel ignored and misunderstood. It is unlikely that he will be better off.
No need to blame the young father in the absence of willpower, indifferent attitude to the newborn child and the loss of interest in life. This can cause even greater oppression, aggression, and even deprive the last forces. A man sometimes needs help no less than a woman. Help him, for example, take on a part of his duties (to a greater extent – domestic). Do not wait for requests, offer help yourself. And as often as possible, praise zahandrivshego person.