Become the best version of yourself: June – depression is canceled

2016 will be a year of change. If you want to take control of your life, break down barriers and achieve incredible results, then you will love our program for every month. And if the rosy summer time doesn’t inspire you and you can’t get rid of negative thoughts, then now is the best time to deal with it. Once and forever.

Do you feel depressed?

Although summer is considered a carefree time, many do not pay attention to it, focusing on personal or professional problems. And if you do not solve them on time, then you risk earning unpleasant psychological consequences. Start by asking yourself:

· Do you wake up in the morning thinking: “I should have…”, “Why didn’t I…”, “I am hopeless…”, “I will never/will not get…”?
· Do such thoughts appear at other moments of your ̆ life (driving, walking, when you fall asleep) – at any ̆ moment when the defense of your consciousness weakens?
· Do you avoid mirrors because you don’t like your reflection? · When you make a mistake, do you scold yourself, mentally calling yourself stupid, idiot, jerk? · Do you feel unworthy of your partner?
Have you ever had to worry about it all the time after some tactless actions or mistakes at work? Do you have obsessive thoughts about such things? · Have you ever “scored an own goal” when you were already close to success, but made a mistake at the last ̆ moment?
· You don’t like to think about your childhood? · You don’t care about your health?
Are you constantly comparing yourself to others (“Why can’t I be like him?”)?
Are you putting yourself in a dangerous position?

If you’ve answered yes to the above questions multiple times, it’s time for a change. Heed the tips we’re going to talk about today.

Accept your reality

Believe it or not, your road to self-improvement starts in the trash. Yes, exactly where there is a mountain of clothes you don’t wear, a bunch of mismatched ̆ kitchen utensils ̆, a stack of newspapers and letters to sort through, countless packages of hotel soap and shampoo that you’ve been hiding in your locker for years. . This is where your path to freedom begins. Isn’t it amazing? You get down to business right where you are. This is a slow ̆ process, but any ̆ superfluous ̆ object that you get rid of brings you closer to freedom.

To put things in order, we must first accept our current position.

Start where you are – there is no other place to start.

– You are scared? Start with this.
– Are you heartbroken? Start with this. Are you overwhelmed and confused? Start with this.

We suggest trying drastic measures: love your current condition, no matter how bad it is. Love your difficulties, your pain, your fear, your heartbreak, your overwhelm, your confusion. Loving all this does not mean denying change. On the contrary, you love your life because you want to change it. Love is the only force in the world that can transform. It acts with faith in the invisible: in the light within the darkness, order within the chaos. Love is full of courage to enter the darkness to release the light. She intends to plunge into chaos to create order.

Martin Luther King Jr. said, “Darkness will not drive out darkness—only light can. Hatred will not drive away hatred – only love can do it. Love is the strongest force of transformation. Loving something beautiful is easy. But transformation begins with love for something for which it is difficult to feel such feelings.

There is no such emotion that cannot be transformed by showing firmness, determination, courage and attention.

Write down your thoughts

You have probably heard the expression “a stone from the soul.” It is believed that this improves a person’s well-being. Perhaps you yourself even felt relieved after you “spoke out” to someone, describing all your worries and fears. After “removing a stone from the soul”, the mode of operation of the brain in stressful conditions changes. As a result, even in a tense situation, you can achieve greater success.

Writing down your feelings before an important test or presentation helps to avoid a psychological breakdown.

If you constantly doubt your abilities, then a frank presentation in writing of ideas that affirm your self-sufficiency can eliminate some of these doubts.

Learn to feel and express emotions

People ̆ in a depressed state have a special ̆ talent to eliminate feelings. They can show themselves and the world that they do not experience normal human emotions, they are very good at building protective barriers of repression, isolation and intellectualization, and they bring self-denial and self-sacrifice to such an extent that it seems that
the “I” completely disappears.

Expressing feelings helps to feel them more strongly. Ask anyone who has played in the theater: when you show sadness on stage, you experience it yourself. When the role is joyful, the artist is having fun. In an experienced actor, artificial mood swings are short-lived, but in everyday life, “changing masks” often helps to experience the emotions expressed in action . Role plays and reconstruction in group and family therapy are based on this principle. Forcing a patient to speak out what he has been holding back for so long opens the floodgates on a river of emotions. Given the relief it brings, it’s amazing why so many people avoid expressing their emotions not out of rational choice, but out of habit or fear.

Exercise: Learn to Express Yourself
Sit comfortably in a quiet place where you will not be disturbed for half an hour. Freely and without embarrassment in expressions, express what is in your heart. Don’t worry if it comes out incoherently: just let yourself talk about the events of the day, the problem that occupies your mind, memories, fantasies, etc. As you talk, keep track of how your body feels. Are you sad? Are you depressed? Are you angry? Happy? Try to put these feelings into words. Or maybe you feel constrained? Concerned? Wary? Try to determine where these sensations come from, and leave them in the past.

Your partner should listen sympathetically and very carefully. He can only make remarks that draw emotions out of you even more. The assistant should not interfere with his thoughts, ask for clarification, criticize or change the subject. Instead, he should say something like, “That must have pissed you off” or “I think you’re enjoying it, but I don’t quite understand why.” In other words, your partner’s comments can only be directed towards the emotions in your story.

With a little practice, you will find that you have more feelings than you thought. This is exactly what needs to be achieved. People with depression tend to over-control the expression of their emotions. Perhaps if you can be more expressive with your partner, you can do it in other situations as well. Think about it.

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